more pics......something interesting....a conversation between marchie n roberta....i stole it from marchie's blog..=X....haisss...roberta.......*shake head**

geee....very small hor......nvm..i copy n paste......here goes......

From Mars.....

Anyway, we were like talking about Miss Universe on MSN la. Then Robert finally came to the conclusion that it's all about the answers that you give.

R: aiyaso wasted lari really think i can win this kind of competition you knowit's soooo easy you knowall e questionsthey're not gonna ask you to do integral or derivation lehonly simple2 questions like thesewalawe

AND THEN he proceeded to tell me how HE would have answered all the 5 questions posed to the top 5 finalists. OMG i want to pengsan can! hahahahaa..

R: OMGGGGGGi'm so gonna win pageant lor

M: robert u crack me uplike really

R: but i'm considering to become a supermodel in paris or new york maybea male supermodelthat'd be coolthen when i'm successful alreadyasked by e journalistwad's ur secret?

M: waaat? i also want to know!

R: i'll answer good-lookingness and strong character

M: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

R: too bad i'm not that good-looking lareven though i might have that strong character

M: there's always plastic surgery

R: oh crap, i'm not gonna do that

M: y not?

R: we're beautiful God created usOMGGGGGGi'm really good at this answering thingy arhi really can win pageant leh

aiyoh can die laughing u know talking to him. SO NONSENSE!!!!! tak snonoh!

oh my gawd....hahahaaa~~*~~~.....

anyway...the gals met up for cookie baking~~*~~...=D...last week actually....

i wanna upload e pics one...but dunno wads wrong suddenly..=\

cannot upload pics...btw....the girls = 4 gals...stella, marchie, bella and roberta...=X...

nvm la..another day then upload..tata~~*~

StArStAr~~*~

hmmmmm...

always look at the same pics...dunno if u all sian anot....wonder if monkey ever comes in to see my blog...all i know is tt got new viewer....mr lily.....hi lily~~*~...=X

anyway...if monkey comes...im doing fine...=)....pics here...

*star n baby pork**...isn't she e cutest??...=P...i love her~~*~...=D

my work place....at abt few mths ago...now thomas left le n replaced by a ntu guy..i miss mrs lim~~!~...she's coming back in 4 days time~~..*yay~**

hmmm...sometimes i really wonder...how does this horoscope thingy work?....
my horoscope for today

Your spirit is sparkling, Star, and you may feel yourself filling up with tremendous energy as you go about your day. Your sense of adventure is at a monthly peak, and there is very little that can get you down. One area of your life that might be slightly difficult for you to deal with right now, though, is your world of love and romance. For some reason, you may feel like this is the one domain in which things aren't going the way you would like them to. The secret is to be patient.

hmmm...sometimes i wonder if its possible to have 1/24 of the whole world, seeming to be going thru almost e same stuff as u are going thru now...guess its actually all up to personal interpretation ba...

horoscope for tml...
If only there were more hours in a day you would have a chance of doing everything you wanted to. Alas, you are allotted a mere 24, and have to do the best you can with that limited amount. Today you may feel real time pressure, as demands come at you from all sides. The office, home, your religious group and volunteer organization all could be clamoring for a piece of you. If you are not careful, Star, there will be nothing left of yourself to give.

gee....the thought of finishing up my work tml...sucks to e core........zzzzz~~
today was fun, slping the whole day thru.....=)
i love to slp....=)=)

actually somehow...i kinda feel for my ex now....sorta, realises how he felt last time....

hmmm...now i oso can understand why he wakes up at 3 plus 4 plus...
i oso understand why he treats me tt way last time le....actually...i cant really blame him ba...guess i was too young and silly to understand...to actually believe, that love is all someone needs....is a stupidstupid thing tt i used to believe in....actually have been talking to varies pple...many in fact....some abt my probs, some abt life...realised my attitude towards life, perhaps, have been wrong all the while.....

wad ever it is, im glad i've changed...feel tt being in manchester...really changed my life...guess if i didn't go manchester...my life would still be the same...like wad robin said, if i dint break up wif him then, we wld have prob still be together up till now...but if i dint break up wif robin...how would i have found myself?.....

somehow...i dun really know wad happened to me...but im thankful...glad tt im who i am now...i dunno wads gonna happen....but i know wadever that can happen...im strong enuff to take it to my stride.

im thankful....for everyone tt have been there for me during my period of unhappiness....esp kailin....who's always there for me...thanks babe~~...=P

i guess..my heart died ever since monday...dun think it'll get healed again in e near future...i wish my monkey happiness wif his gf...all along i had believed...tt if love truely existed...he would come back...all along i had believed...tt if love truely existed...he wun move on so soon...then if tts the case, doesn't tt mean tt love never truely existed?...i dun really believe tt...but i guess...it did exist...maybe juz not as strong as i thot it wld be...on the other hand sometimes i wonder...maybe its juz me...tts taking so long to get over things..finally understood...wad love means...all i can remember..is tt its pain, pain n pain....and happy, happy n happy as well...i guess...i was too naive...thanks for waking me up...letting me fall hard early..be4 its too late...thanks for letting me find out wad love truely means...before i fall in and break my heart in something where i cant ever come out...

for now...all i know...is tt love doesn't exist...its just a fanciful word for sex...either immediate, or in the future...ladies...dun ever fall in love...

-the end-

i miss my best fwen...i miss having my best fwen arn...everytime im sad....my best fwen is always arn...

quit for 5 and a half days liao...longest so far...gambate star!!!

StArStAr~~*~

my horoscope for today...==>

"It is difficult to maintain a light, happy-go-lucky feeling when you've got a large ton of bricks on your back, star. Perhaps you have slowly accumulated those bricks over time. Each time you repress something that should be expressed, another brick is loaded on, making it more difficult for you to maintain a carefree attitude. Suddenly you are faced with the truth, and you can no longer move forward with all those bricks on your back. It's time to deal with the pain and shed the unwanted weight."

that is precisely how i feel...
tell me....
tell me how to shed it?

StArStAr~~*~

my fwen's nick==>do you wonder if we make e moments in our lives or the moments in our lives make us?

we make e moments in our lives...i believe in e butterfly effect....if i dint do this, then that wun have happened, if i did this, that wld have happened...

like even for robin...if when he lied, i dint close one eye, i won't have gotten hurt...i wld have ended it earlier...it wasn't his fault actually....cos my happiness is from myself...if i ended it early...i wun have gotten hurt...instead of asking him to change..i shld have juz left...then i wun have goten hurt so many times...

i think independence is such a powerful thing....more powerful than money...if tt time i had the independence to make myself smile, i wun have gone thru all those...

i think i became alot more independent liao...alot more able to b happy le...eh..i gtg visit my grandma liao...continue later


StArStAr~~*~

today my grandma got into icu...she look so weak...
her heartbeat stopped twice..but she got resucetated..dunno how to spell...
my fwen's sis once said something when their grandma passed away....
"our parents will be next"...

eek...it sounds scary...but ya....our parents aren't as young as they used to be anymore...
muz cherish them more....dun let them work so hard anymore.....

juz got home...left work halfway and cancelled the meeting with my prof juz to go hospital...damn shagged out...yesterday onli slept 1 hr....

tml morning going back to visit her...the doc say if she gets better, monday can go for heart bypass..but the odds are onli 50% for the heart bypass operation to b successful....

dunno why when i found out she was at ICU at work i juz burst out crying...so paiseh....she had 4 heart attacks in the morning....isn't 1 heart attack very dangerous, not to mention 4, esp at her age....

i havent been a good grand daughter.....used to worry my parents n grandma so much....juz started to be nicer to her, n suddenly juz like tt....lucky i went to visit her on tues..else i'll really regret it if anything happened...on tues she was still awake and energetic, asking the maid to buy 4D and writing out the number for the maid.....i was juz smiling at the scene of it at the side of the hospital bed...suddenly juz like tt....thot she getting better liao...everyone was saying she looked much stronger than monday...yet now she is depending on machines to live on...

i was at the waiting area today....everyone's eyes were red and wet.....then my cousin and her 2 baby sons appeared....then pple started smiling and playing with the baby...its like a very strong scene of nature enacting in front of my eyes.....i dun wan nature to happen...i wanna stay a kid forever, and my parents young and energetic, and my grandma still scolding me for being rebellous...i know i sound stupid n naive....but tts wad i want....i dun wan black eyed peas, i wan carpenters....i dun wan uni, i wan sec sch....=\

k la...i go slp liao...tml leaving at 9am..muz wake up early.....@_@.....so tired...*zzz~**

StArStAr~~*~

anyway....fri was quite happenening...=P

the lead singer at DXO came down with e mic n walked arn...
then i was sitting alone nearby...then he walked over n put e mic at my mouth...then this part then e band singers dun sing then ask me to sing!...is like suddenly quiet...then onli got my voice come out...damn paiseh~~...hahaaa~

its onli a phrase anyway....more crappy stuff happened..
hahahaaa

this gal i think she was quite drunk....
again my fwens not arn....she came over n sat beside me...then ask me why i look so sad.....
i told her i got r/s prob....then we chatchat....then she say something tt sounded like "u look hurt"....then i was like...yea..im hurt...then she was like..."no...no...i mean u look hot"...then later, her face came over n she tried to kiss me mouth to mouth!!!!!

o my gawd!!!!..i siamed, she ended up kissing my chin!.....arghh!!!.......

but actually...when she kissed me....somehow it wasn't as gross as i thot it wld b kissing a girl....maybe its the effects of the graveyard,which tastes damn gross by the way....but anyway...at tt split sec i was actually wondering,if i shld juz try turning les....hahahaa.....maybe i shldn't have siamed....

if i dint siam...maybe today i'll officially b les liao....but she's not my type la...=P

oh nooo...hahahaa....im not bisexual.....maybe i've juz been on my own for quite sometime for e first time in almost 7yrs..the last time i kissed robin was sep 10th 2006 2/3am.....i prob juz missed it..hahahaa....im lousy....=X....

anyway i got a shock after tt, sms kai to quickly come back!!!......they've been gone for damn long...i took our stuff n went to find them....kai was with her ex n his fwens...then we went to find james....he was quite high...he was sleepin on e sofa n got warned by e bouncer if he sleep again he'll b chasen out...we searched for him for damn long la~~!....one hr plus....then damn kan chiong, cannot find him..waited outside e toilet for him, ask e bouncer go in help us see if he's dead drunk there..cannot find, search e club upstairs downstairs oso cannot find, go out oso cannot find....end up i sms my manchester fwens ask them help me check if he went home ardy or not n check if he's online anot....marchie say he never reply....we continued searching until the club actually closed...close liao oso cannot find....end up he wasn't in e club at all....we went out to continue finding...found him sleeping by the river......

after tt we decided to go eat bf...ate mac liao very tired, but wanna save money...juz gonna wait 1 and a half hr then got bus go home liao...but all very sleepy..so end up going to pacific plaza sleep..kena found by e security..then go hotel royal plaza sleep on sofa...kena chased out oso again....bo pian no where to slp liao...hahahaa~~*~~...finally headed home in e cab.....

the next day kai n james i think they quarreled...james say i was drunk cos i went to find e mancehster pple for help...like how wld they know where james was..kai got quite pissed cos he dint seem apologetic tt he made us worry n even say im drunk...kai defended me n scolded him n blocked him!...geee..how did things become like tt...=\

now kai n me wondering if james blocked us as well..he hasn't been online for quite sometime...abit wierd......=\

hope things will turn out alright...

StArStAr~~*~

Tutorial 1 of relationships.....

==>how to end things cleanly with ur ex wifout hurting her feelings...

after she turn mad, 2-3 hrs later then reply the following...

==>sorry, i was busy..
interpretation==>sorry, losing u has no effect on me such tt wad ever im doing cant wait n u have to wait 2-3hrs be4 i reply something decent

==>ur a very nice n good girl, the type of gf every guy is looking for..but im not a nice guy
interpretation==>u r nice, take care of me n love me like my mom loves me...but like how i treat my mom, i take u for granted, hence im not nice to u..cos i dun really love u tt much anyway

==>i really loved u
interpretation==>i don't love u now....

==>i dun have face to face u anymore
interpretation==>gently letting the girl know the guy shall not bother to look for her anymore....also puts the guy in a good light as it seems like its not tt he cant be bothered to find her, but actually he has no face to do tt....yar rite....-__-"

==>i know u hate me n i understand nothing i say will help
interpretation==>i shall fix it such tt becos i assume tt u hate me, which i know is totally untrue, i shall pretend to b sad n hence say this so tt i wun b blamed for not persuading u or coaxing u.

ok....maybe certain things to some extend could vary frm guy to guy...
but this shld b e general guideline ba....

Tutorial 2 of relationships

for ladies wise.....
==>i hate u
interpretation==>i love u

==>ur such a jerk
interpretation==>why never ask me for a patch?

==>arsh hole
interpretation==>how come until now still haven ask for patch?

==>stupid arsh hole
interpretation==>OEI...ask la!!

==>ur not a man...not proactive one...
interpretation==>u really really REALLY shld be chasing me back!!!!...*ROAR!!**

==>i miss u
interpretation==>hahahaaa...u really think so?...hmmm...maybe a teeny weeny bit la....

==>i wan a clean break
interpretation==>wake up n start running over!

==>forget it....i dun trust u....
interpretation==>wake up n hurry coax me!!

==>im happier without u...
interpretation==>cant u see im trying to convince myself? If tt was really true, i wld have said something else like "i think im not ready for anything currently"

==>i love being single!
interpretation==>same as the previous

human beings are complicated creatures......
StArStAr~~*~

i decided to stop forcing myself to get over him le......

i juz need time...i may consider patching wif him...but not be4 he has step down from his position....

this time i have to b firm abt it...

i know i've been hiding alot....reluctant to go out or move my butt....

i think i juz need time...i shldn't be forcing myself anymore..its already so hard.....

i know my happiness is not determined by anyone...no one except for myself....

i've been alone alot recently...i think i need time alone...

sometimes i feel lonely...but i chose my own route...if i choose to b alone...i very well gonna stick to it.....i choose to lose contact wif certain pple...im not a bitch....i shall not lead anyone on.....

i gonna try...try my best to be independent...more independent.....

im gonna try, surviving on my own.....being happy on my own.......

i'll emerge stronger than be4......i will not get hurt again.......

StArStAr~~*~