hais....
i dun wanna mug anymore.....so sick of it!!!!!!!!!....realised i've developed a way of hiding my feelings from myself..sorta like a bluffing myself way...makes me numb to my own feelings and makes me have this impression tt im still happily in my perfect world...tt there'll b little monkey when i go back, welcoming me home n stuffs..everytime im stressed i juz wanna hear his voice...my friends say im too dependent on him n i think so too...since i've already made my choice i shld stick to it n try not to disturb him too much...things have been wierd...i dunno...like dun really noe wad to say to him nowadays...without him i feel like im all alone...no one to tok to abt wads going on in my head...no one to complain to when i do badly for a paper...i dun really know how to open up to my friends...they've been been complaining abt their papers or seeking consolation when they're stressed...but i can onli seem to do it towards him...n i shldn't be bugging him...i feel so bottled inside....like i wanna cry, but e tears juz wun come out..i wanna release everything but they juz wun come out...my feelings r like hidden way inside me tt i cant even seem to find them...

things will get better...i'll get better...i know it...life will b beautiful again....it sucks now though....i dun wanna go back to singapore...im scared of wad will happen to me when im without my bunch of fwens in manchester...given tt its like tt already even when im constantly being surrounded by fwens, i dunno wad will happen to me in singapore...i dun wanna go back....1 week left to going home...im dreadin it.....