im back in singapore

not sounding exactly very enthusiastic....but...alas....
im back,,,,,
its been a few days liao.....
starting to get used to life here again...
being alone......
i expected it.....
but dint know it wld hit me so badly....
but alas....im getting used to it liao....
it will onli make me stronger...rite??....
life is good....my job sucked initially...but its getting good too...
everything will get better....
i miss e manchester peeps...
but everyone seem to b getting on with life...
everyone except me...
guess no one will understand how hard it is for me to get over everything....
its juz tt....
when i broke up wif monkey...i had e manchester peeps....
when they're gone..
i thot i have my job to look forward to....
my job sucks.....
though its getting better...but yesterday was damn stressful...
but its getting better...
i miss having fwens around....not tt no one's arn...its juz tt...
with e curfew i still have...i cant go out much anymore.....

apart from weekends, which i shld b spending wif my family....

i end work at 6...i have a curfew..so i have to reach home early....wad can i do within tt few hours man....feel so fucking lonely at home....when no one's home...its even worse...
stay at home and stone...dun even have mood to go youtube...

i miss them so much....worse still be4 i left...we were meeting like everyday, apart from sleep and going for paper...they were always arn...

i feel like shit.....i miss manchester so much....

yesterday i finally broke down.....after all tt stress from work...and e sadness from monkey n fwens....
called monkey..at least he was there for me....he's always there for me....i dunno wad will happen to me if he ever gets another gf....
at least im not meeting him nor toking much to him....wun b so hard to get over him....i thot once i came back, he wld start finding me everyday, and i wld go to him everyday, until i may end up patching wif him...but thankfully, tts not happening....he said he wanted to come to pass me the pork...but i told him next week...so...it wun b so easy for me to fall into his warm arms...i wanna survive this...i wanna emerge strong...i dun need a guy....not at all...

i wanna get over everything...i wanna move on with life....and i will...work shall evolve into my life...i dun need anybody...dun need anybody except myself and my family....the onli stable pillar left in my life...is my family....that pillar never collapses and i always have them to look out for me and catch me be4 i fall down deep into the abyss....

jingjing wants to meet me....im very weak now, i know...i shldn't meet him at all...i dun wanna make use of him to make my life easier....dun wanna hurt him....

its so tempting to make my life easier....but no...i've grown up...grown out of tt phase...i'll survive on my own...with my love from myself and my family and friends, i'll survive....